Short screenplay for the Sept 2019 Winter Is Coming contest.

IT'S A DOG'S LIFE OVER BLACK A DOG'S RAPID PANTING is heard throughout. FADE IN: INT. APARTMENT KITCHEN - NIGHT DOG POV, down near floor level. We do not see the dog, we are the dog. MIKE and HANNA, a 30s couple, are arguing. Dog only sees them from the waist down. HANNA You can't just bring a dog home with you! MIKE He was wandering in the park. HANNA Someone's there right now, looking for it! MIKE He, and no one was looking for him, he doesn't have an owner. HANNA How do you, how do you know this? MIKE He wasn't wearing a collar. HANNA How come it's wearing one now? MIKE I bought him a collar, he needed a collar. Stop calling him "it," he can hear you. HANNA And you bought him those bowls, and that food? MIKE What do you want him to eat, lasagna? HANNA When are you going to get your phone repaired? MIKE I don't, what, why would I-- HANNA If it was working, you would have called me from the park and said, "Honey, is it okay to bring this strange dog home with me?" and I would have told you NO, fuck off. MIKE Aw don't be like that, you didn't see him, wandering all alone, looking lost. HANNA It's someone's dog. They're going to want it back. MIKE For your information, when a dog doesn't have a collar, that means he doesn't have an owner. There is no owner. He is a masterless dog. HANNA I have a great idea! MIKE If this "great idea" includes the words "return" and "park" then let me stop you right there. HANNA I don't want a dog, you have to ask me, do you want a dog? And I have to say yes, before you bring a fucking dog home with you. MIKE You should have seen the look in his eyes. HANNA How close were you to him? Were you on the ground, rolling around in the leaves? MIKE His eyes said help me, nobody loves me, they just abandoned me, I'm cold and I'm hungry. HANNA He. Goes. Back. MIKE Don't be so cruel, it's dark out there and it's going to be freezing temperatures tonight. You can't cast him out into the cold. HANNA He's wearing a fur coat. MIKE Well okay, here you go, here's his leash, take him. HANNA No, it's not me, don't dare. MIKE Put on his leash, put on his leash while you look into his eyes and see the pain there, as he realizes what's happening to him. HANNA You are a fucking drama queen. MIKE You're asking me to put a dog outside, to abandon him in the park, when it's going to be freezing tonight, when he could literally freeze to death and not wake up. HANNA Or his OWNER, who has been looking for him ever since you STOLE him from the park, and is out of his goddamn MIND with worry, will find him and take him home. MIKE Do I have to explain the collar thing over again? HANNA His collar could have got caught on something and fallen off, you don't know. Look at him, he's a healthy dog, are you trying to tell me no one's looked after him, taken him to the vet, given him his shots? He has a family and that family loves him. You know what you are? You're a dognapper. MIKE No such word. HANNA It's been in the news! Dognappers snatch dogs off the street and call their owners and demand a ransom. MIKE Yeah right. HANNA That actress, the one you like, the blonde, with the big lips, she had her poodle snatched. MIKE Aw come on, that's reality show bullshit. HANNA She got her poodle snatched and they called her at home and said, fifty thousand bucks or the dog gets it. I heard it, on the news. MIKE Bull. Shit. HANNA She wasn't laughing, she was in tears, she pleaded with the dognappers to bring her baby back. MIKE She could get a thousand poodles for fifty grand. HANNA She didn't want a thousand poodles, she just wanted Twinkie. MIKE Twinkie the poodle. You're pulling my twinkie. HANNA The dognappers were texting her, cops couldn't pin them down, they used disposable phones, a different number every time. MIKE What did she say, "I want to hear his bark, I want to know he's still alive." HANNA You're trying to make a joke out of this but you're the goddamn dognapper here. That dog, right there, belongs to someone. Maybe they have kids, they're crying their eyes out, worried sick. MIKE Did she receive an ear in the mail as a warning? HANNA You're joking about a dog having its ear cut off? MIKE What's her name, what was she in? HANNA I don't know, that one with DeNiro. MIKE The bank heist or the hunt thing? Did she pay the ransom? HANNA She wanted to pay but her husband wouldn't let her, and the cops said no, like we don't negotiate with terrorists, that stuff. It was heart-rending, I couldn't stop crying. MIKE Oh who's the drama queen now? HANNA I wish you'd seen her, you might not be such a shit about it. Anyways, enough crap, get that thing out of here, take it back to the park and kiss it goodbye. MIKE Jesus, will you just-- HANNA Before you say anything else, consider how much your back hurts when you sleep on the couch. MIKE Look, I'm not wanting an argument. I just need you to show a little compassion. HANNA Says dog ear man. MIKE A little compassion for a dog who is going to be cast out into the cold and will be lying shivering under a bush, wondering why you did this to him. HANNA You fuck! This isn't on me! You brought it here, you take it back, and I mean now. MIKE You know what, I'm sleeping on the couch tonight, through choice. I can't bear to be with someone who's so heartless. HANNA Hey, wha'd'ya know, I might actually get some sleep for a change. Mike approaches Dog, crouches down, we see him for the first time, sadface as he looks into camera. MIKE I'm sorry, Pushkin, mommy doesn't want you here any more. HANNA Fuck off. Mike shows puzzlement. MIKE Oh you got the collar off, guess you didn't like it. Harry goddamn Houdini. HANNA Take it back to the store tomorrow, take everything back, get a refund. Mike stands up, walks to the door. MIKE Come on Pushkin. Looks like you and me are going for walkies. Dog POV follows mike to the door. Mike opens the door, Dog POV exits the apartment. POV changes, on HANNA as the door closes and the lock CLICKS. Mike and Dog are gone. PANTING STOPS. Hanna leans against the counter, sips her coffee. HANNA "Pushkin," for fuck's sake. She looks at the counter, sees the collar and leash. She puts down her coffee, picks up the collar. Twirls it around her finger. Smiles. INT. APARTMENT LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Hanna stands at the window, peering out through the curtains at the dark night. She's as naked as the day she was born. Except for the dog collar she's wearing. The leash is attached and she holds the loop in her hand so the leash is tight. KNOCKING at the door. Hanna sighs. HANNA Yes, yes forget your keys, why don't you? She walks through the kitchen, to the door. She unlocks it and opens it, and as she does so she lifts the leash up over her head. INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE APARTMENT - NIGHT As Hanna opens the door and says-- HANNA Walkies? She shows surprise and so does the TALL MAN standing there gaping at her. TALL MAN Good God, I'm sorry-- HANNA No I'm sorry, I thought you were my husband. He half-turns as if to leave. TALL MAN I'll just-- HANNA Let's not be embarrassed, we're both adults. I'm sure you've seen a naked woman before. If not, this is what one looks like. What can I do for you? Tall Man opens his mouth to say something, gets distracted by Hanna's unashamed nakedness, he closes his eyes for a moment, sucks in a deep breath, tries again. TALL MAN I know this might sound stupid, but I'm looking for my dog. Someone said they saw a man with a dog that sounded like mine. I've been knocking on all the doors. HANNA I wish I could help. I'm sure he'll turn up soon. Dogs always do. He's probably sniffing a drainpipe or something. (sniffing loudly) My God, this smell, I must know who she is. TALL MAN Hah, I hope so. HANNA Until he does... Hanna offers him the leash. HANNA You wanna take me for walkies? Tall Man swallows hard and runs his finger inside his collar as if letting steam out. He takes the lead and steps inside, closing the door, and we catch a glimpse of Hanna's wide smile. EXT. PARK - NIGHT Mike looks around, puzzled. No sign of Dog. MIKE Pushkin? Pushkin? FADE OUT Sep 2019

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