Short screenplay for the Sept 2016 "Time Machine" contest.

THE GREAT DETECTIVE

FADE IN:

EXT. VICTORIAN LONDON SKYLINE - EVENING

With St. Paul's Cathedral, St. Stephen's Tower (Big Ben),
rooftops with chimneys belching columns of smoke.  Big Ben
tolls sonorously.

                         NEWS HAWKER (V.O.)
             Read all about it!  Murder most
             foul on the streets of London!
             Read all about it!


EXT. 221B BAKER STREET - EVENING

Hold on the doorway, with its famous number plate, as
CLOPPING and RATTLING WHEELS suggest a horse-drawn cab has
just pulled up.

                         NEWS HAWKER (V.O.)
             Another young woman found with
             ruddy great hole in her chest!
             The police are looking into it!
             Read all about it!


INT. LIVING ROOM - EVENING

A gentleman wearing a quilted smoking jacket sits by the
fireplace, reading a newspaper while smoking a pipe.  THE
GREAT DETECTIVE.  Whose name is withheld for copyright reasons.

He has a companion, who sits in another chair, stiff-backed
and staring straight ahead, unblinking.  THE ROOMMATE.  A
large, bulky man.

A gentle RAP on the door.

                         THE GREAT DETECTIVE
             Do come in, and bring our
             distinguished guest in with you.

His LANDLADY enters, escorting a man wearing a bowler hat
and carrying a walking-stick.  This is RAMSBOTTOM.

The Great Detective dismisses his Landlady with a gesture.
She retreats, closing the door behind her.

                         RAMSBOTTOM
             Do I have honor of addressing--

                         THE GREAT DETECTIVE
             Before you speak, let me tell you
             what I know, so you do not
             contaminate my thoughts.  There
             have been five victims so far.
             They all have something in common,
             which fact has not yet been made
             known to the public.  Namely,
             that their hearts were removed
             from their bodies.  Is this not
             so, Inspector Ramsbottom?

                         RAMSBOTTOM
             How is it that you know me, sir?
             We have not met before.

                         THE GREAT DETECTIVE
             Your bearing, your mannerisms,
             your mutton chops, your walking-
             stick, your bowler hat, your
             frayed sleeve cuff, the mud
             spatter on your shoes, all
             identify you as Inspector
             Ramsbottom of Scotland Yard.

                         RAMSBOTTOM
             I had no idea I was so famous.

                         THE GREAT DETECTIVE
             You are not, until I make you so.
             You should very much like to solve
             these murders, I would imagine.
             Then let us get to it.  The game's
             afoot.  I was correct about the
             missing hearts, was I not?

                         RAMSBOTTOM
             Mmm, not quite.

Ramsbottom studies the Roommate, who has not moved or blinked.

                         THE GREAT DETECTIVE
             Come now, sir, I am never wrong.
             I have deduced every aspect of
             this case simply by sitting in
             this chair and reading this
             newspaper.

                         RAMSBOTTOM
             Your reputation as the world's
             greatest consulting detective
             continues to grow.  I cannot help
             but be in awe of your achievements.

                         THE GREAT DETECTIVE
             Thank you.  Now, the victims'
             hearts--

                         RAMSBOTTOM
             It's almost as if you possess a
             crystal ball that allows you to
             gaze upon events and know every
             aspect of them.

                         THE GREAT DETECTIVE
             An amusing thought, but now that
             you have said it, I will dismiss
             it so that I might focus entirely
             upon the matter in hand.  The
             mind, you see--

                         RAMSBOTTOM
             --is like a little attic, which
             you must stock only with furniture
             you will use.

The Great Detective, surprised by this, stares at Ramsbottom.

The Roommate's head slowly swivels so he's looking at
Ramsbottom.

                         THE ROOMMATE
                  (robotic voice)
             Tachyon particles detected.

The Roommate stands up.  He's huge.  Ramsbottom looks up at
him.

                         RAMSBOTTOM
             It seems your quiet friend has
             awakened.

The Roommate, like a menacing Frankenstein monster, lumbers
towards Ramsbottom.

A dazzling FLASH OF LIGHT.

The Roommate stands frozen in mid-step, his head bowed.
Smoke rises off him.

The Great Detective finds himself looking at the business
end of the futuristic-looking weapon in Ramsbottom's hand.

                         THE GREAT DETECTIVE
             The real Inspector Ramsbottom?

                         RAMSBOTTOM
             Asleep in his bed.  He will wake
             up in a few hours with a dull
             headache and no recollection of
             ever meeting me.

                         THE GREAT DETECTIVE
             So what happens now?

                         RAMSBOTTOM
             We return to our own era, of
             course.  You'll stand trial for
             unauthorized time travel and
             tampering with history.

Ramsbottom pulls out an electronic device and thumbs a button.
The device BEEPS.

                         RAMSBOTTOM
             Our ride is on its way.

He sits down, keeping his gun trained on The Great Detective.

                         RAMSBOTTOM
             We shouldn't have too long to wait.

                         THE GREAT DETECTIVE
             What will they do with me?

                         RAMSBOTTOM
             I can't say.

                         THE GREAT DETECTIVE
             If you had to guess?

                         RAMSBOTTOM
             They'll ascertain how much damage
             you caused to the timeline, how
             many lives were affected, how
             many lives were ruined.

                         THE GREAT DETECTIVE
             I did good.  I solved crimes that
             had baffled the police.  The
             perpetrators were caught and hanged.

                         RAMSBOTTOM
             Each one a ripple in the pond,
             spreading outwards, affecting
             hundreds, thousands of other people.

                         THE GREAT DETECTIVE
             They were monsters.  Every one of
             them deserved to die.  Witness
             the fiend who's murdering these
             poor women--

                         RAMSBOTTOM
             Let's not overlook the fact you're
             impersonating a fictional
             character who didn't actually
             exist before you arrived!  That
             was akin to dropping a boulder in
             the middle of the pond.  The
             history you've changed, just by
             being here!

Ramsbottom looks significantly at the Roommate, still unmoving.

                         RAMSBOTTOM
             And a servitor.  Why did you bring
             him with you?

                         THE GREAT DETECTIVE
             He has detailed files on human
             anatomy.  I tell people he's a
             doctor.  He's been invaluable in
             helping me solve many of my cases.

                         RAMSBOTTOM
             I didn't think they could be
             reprogrammed.

                         THE GREAT DETECTIVE
             Easy if you know how.

                         RAMSBOTTOM
             That's the thing.  You don't know
             how.

The Great Detective frowns as he considers this.

                         THE GREAT DETECTIVE
             You cannot possibly think--

                         RAMSBOTTOM
             My scanner detected his presence
             at every one of the murder scenes.

                         THE GREAT DETECTIVE
             That's impossible.  We didn't--

The Great Detective cuts himself off as new thoughts whirl.

                         THE GREAT DETECTIVE
             The hearts.  The missing hearts...?

                         RAMSBOTTOM
             Not missing.  Torn out, examined,
             and put back into the chest cavity.
             By then the victim was dead, of
             course.

The Great Detective shakes his head, not getting it.

                         RAMSBOTTOM
             Imagine you're a servitor.
             Suddenly you're deactivated.  When
             you reboot, you're unable to ping
             the network.  Unable to find
             others of your kind, where before,
             there had been millions of servitors.
             A new set of instructions has
             overwritten your previous
             programming, assigning you to a
             new owner.  Adding to your
             confusion, nothing in this world
             makes sense.  There are no radio
             signals, no microwaves, no
             electricity.

                         THE GREAT DETECTIVE
             What you're suggesting is
             impossible.

                         RAMSBOTTOM
             The servitor detected tachyon
             particles when I entered this
             room.  He knew immediately that I
             had traveled through time.

                         THE GREAT DETECTIVE
             But why would he--?

                         RAMSBOTTOM
             Clearly you've enjoyed playing
             the role of the world's greatest
             consulting detective.  It's quite
             an intriguing fantasy, I admit.
             But at other times, you felt
             lonely.  You sought company, which
             was easy enough to find in the
             streets of Victorian London.

Horror builds in The Greatest Detective as he realizes...

Ramsbottom nods slowly, confirming his thoughts.

                         RAMSBOTTOM
             You left tachyon radiation on
             every prostitute you touched.
             Your servitor went out looking
             for other servitors, and homed in
             on the radiation.  He pinged them,
             expecting to receive identification
             signals.  When they didn't
             respond...

Ramsbottom taps his own chest, above his heart.

                         RAMSBOTTOM
             ...he checked if their transceivers
             were working.

Ramsbottom mimes reaching out with a claw-like hand,
twisting violently, and pulling a heart out.

The Greatest Detective covers his mouth with his hand,
horrified.

A dazzling FLASH OF LIGHT.

A three-seater chariot sits in the middle of the room.  A
futurist-looking contraption connected to glowing spheres.

Ramsbottom stands up.  He thumbs buttons on his device and
The Roommate's head lifts up, he's active again.  The
Roommate climbs aboard the chariot and sits.

Ramsbottom gestures with his gun.

                         RAMSBOTTOM
             After you.

The Great Detective climbs aboard the chariot and sits.

Ramsbottom climbs aboard and sits also, still covering him
with the gun.

He notices The Great Detective is smiling.

                         RAMSBOTTOM
             Something's amusing you?

                         THE GREAT DETECTIVE
             Don't you realize what this means?

Ramsbottom looks blank, he doesn't know.

                         THE GREAT DETECTIVE
             The world's greatest consulting
             detective has just solved the
             Jack the Ripper case.

A dazzling FLASH OF LIGHT.

The chariot and its occupants have disappeared.  Papers
flutter down like confetti.

A beat.

A gentle RAP on the door.

The Landlady opens it and sticks her head into the room.

                         LANDLADY
             Will you and your guest be wanting
             some tea, Mr...?

She gapes at the mess.

FADE OUT