Short script for the Done Deal Sept 2006 48 Hour Challenge:

"That is one good pickle."

FADE IN


INT. STAIRWAY - APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT

Worn shoes, tired footsteps... climbing upstairs, step by
tedious step.


INT. HALLWAY - APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT

EDDIE climbs into view, shoulders slumped with fatigue,
expression sour.  He carries a lunch pail and a brown paper
parcel.

He stops and stares at an overflowing garbage chute.  Bags
are ripped open, rotted food drips, cockroaches enjoy a
feast.  Eddie shakes his head and keeps walking.

Eddie reaches 4B and puts his key in the lock.

He sniffs the air.  Screws up his nose.  Looks across the
hallway to the door opposite his, 4C


INT. APARTMENT 4C - NIGHT

Liver and chopped onions hiss and smoke in a frying pan.


INT. HALLWAY - APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT

Eddie steps up to 4C's door.  He draws back his fist, ready
to pound wood -- but stops.  Lets out a deep breath.  He
returns to his own door, unlocks it and goes inside,
slamming the door behind him.


INT. APARTMENT 4C - NIGHT

Someone whistles a jaunty tune as a spatula turns the liver
and onions over.


INT. EDDIE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Eddie puts his lunch pail and the parcel down, hangs up
his coat.  He sits and unlaces his shoes, takes them off.
Sighs with relief.


INT. APARTMENT 4C - NIGHT

The liver and onions are poured onto a plate.


INT. EDDIE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Eddie puts on glasses.  He unwraps the parcel.  Inside, a
book, cracked and faded with age.  Eddie opens it carefully
and angles a light so he can read.


INT. APARTMENT 4C - NIGHT

Eddie's NEIGHBOR sits on a couch facing a TV.  He switches
the TV on using a remote and turns the volume up loud.
It's an animal documentary on... pigs.  They noisily eat
from a trough.

                      TV NARRATOR (V.O.)
          These animals have a reputation
          for eating anything and everything
          that's put in front of them.

The Neighbor eats noisily, his knife and fork constantly
scraping the plate.


INT. EDDIE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Noise from the Neighbor's TV invades Eddie's apartment,
the words an indistinct but loud mumble mumble mumble.

Eddie stares at the door.  His eyes narrow.


INT. APARTMENT 4C - NIGHT

On TV, fat pigs are led into the back of a truck.

                      TV NARRATOR (V.O.)
          Once they reach a certain age and
          weight, the pigs are taken away
          for slaughter.

On TV, a shot of the slaughterhouse.

                      TV NARRATOR (V.O.)
          This is where the processing begins.

The pigs are put to sleep using the time-honored tradition
of bashing them on the head with a sledgehammer.

A pig's loud WEEEEEEE! cry is abruptly cut off by an equally
loud THUMP.

On TV, pig carcasses hang on hooks, splayed open.

The Neighbor continues eating noisily.


INT. EDDIE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Chairs, TV, rug, have all been pushed to the edge of the
room, exposing floorboards.

Eddie stands in the middle of the floor, reading the book.
A frown creases his forehead.

                      EDDIE
          This better be worth five hundred
          bucks.


INT. APARTMENT 4C - NIGHT

The TV's switched off.  LOUD MUSIC blasts from speakers,
pounding a beat.


INT. EDDIE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

The baseline invades Eddie's apartment, thump thump thump.

Eddie kneels on the floor with the book open beside him.
He uses colored chalk to draw patterns on the wood.  Two
circles, one inside the other, radius 3 feet and 4 feet.
Then a pentagram, a 5-sided star, inside the inner circle.

He stands up and admires his handiwork.


INT. APARTMENT 4C - NIGHT

The music continues as the Neighbor pirhouettes around the
room like a ballet dancer, buck naked, obscenely overweight.
He clumps across the floor like an elephant, wearing big
boots.


INT. EDDIE'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Above the thump thump thump baseline, the clump clump clump
of elephant feet, which continues through the scene.

In the one-foot gap between the two circles, Eddie draws
rune-like characters, constantly referring to the book.

Eddie opens his lunch pail.  Inside, some kind of furry
animal.  Eddie gingerly lifts it out.  The cat suddenly
comes alive, hissing angrily.  Eddie hurries to the circles
and holds the struggling hissing animal at arm's length.

He raises a big kitchen knife -- screws his eyes tight
shut and looks away -- brings the knife down, WHACK -- the
hissing stops abruptly.

Eddie dumps the body in the center along with the bloody
knife, and steps back.

Smoke rises from the dead animal's body.

Eddie watches in horror/amazement.  His eyes widen--

A beautiful WOMAN wearing a black robe has appeared in
place of the dead animal..  She has horns and blue skin.
She looks around the apartment.  Then stares at Eddie.

                      EDDIE
          You're the, the ginny, right?

The Woman shrugs and nods, close enough.

                      EDDIE
          And you'll do whatever I say?

The Woman nods.  Eddie points to the door.

                      EDDIE
          There's this guy.  He lives in the
          apartment across the hallway.  I
          never want to see him again.

The music and the clumping suddenly stop.  Eddie looks at
the door, surprised.

He looks for the Woman but she's gone.


INT. HALLWAY - APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT

Eddie opens his door a crack and peeks out.

He stares at 4C.  He's not sure what's happened...

He creeps across the hallway.  Notices the mess at the
garbage chute is gone, as if it never existed.  He presses
his ear against 4C's door.  Nothing.

He knocks the door -- a gentle rap.  No answer.  He touches
the handle.  Takes a deep breath.  Turns the handle.


INT. APARTMENT 4C - NIGHT

Eddie looks around in amazement.  The apartment has been
redecorated in an Eastern style, with flowing curtains and
Persian rugs.

The Woman appears, looking human and gorgeous in a Barbara
Eden/I Dream Of Jeannie get-up.  Eddie gapes.

                      WOMAN
          It's so difficult to find a good
          apartment these days.  And I
          thought, you know...

She offers a tray of delicacies -- eyeballs, fingers, toes,
pink strips of... something.  Eddie selects a finger without
taking his eyes from her, and takes a bite.

                      EDDIE
          That is one good pickle.

She smiles.

FADE OUT