Short from the Done Deal 2014 Valentine's Day contest.

"Paint It Black"



TRENT, 22, dressed casual but smart, sits at the table
alone.  He's alert with anticipation, looks at his watch.

A bell DINGS.

                       WOMAN'S VOICE (O.S.)
           Two minutes, go!

A GOTH GIRL sits down opposite Trent, who's kinda surprised.
She's wearing more make-up than Marilyn Manson. His eyes
roam her piercings, her tattoos, her black-clad body.

He offers his hand, she ignores it.

           Hiiii I'm Trent.

                       GOTH GIRL
           What do you do, Trent?

           I'm a web designer.

                       GOTH GIRL
           Well, that kills it for me. Let's
           not waste any more of each other's

She picks up a bread stick and quarter-turns away, nibbling
the stick while glancing at neighboring table booths, where
couples are talking animatedly to each other, dudes on the
inside, ladies on the outside.

           You asked me what I did, what am I
           supposed to say, I'm an astronaut,
           I'm a whale rider, I dance for the
           Russian ballet?

                       GOTH GIRL
           Do you have a tutu?

           Yeah but it's pink, we would clash.

                       GOTH GIRL
           When you say you ride whales...?

           I break them in, for Seaworld.
           For God's sake, you can't just put
           wild whales into pools, they'll
           smash the place up. Give me three
           days, I'll have them eating fish
           out of my hand, guaranteed.

                      GOTH GIRL
          Have you been into space?

          Not since college, that was one
          freaky night, I still have no idea
          how I ended up handcuffed to the
          Principal's bed, but my grades
          that year were straight A's.

Okay, she decides that he amuses her, but only slightly.

                      GOTH GIRL
          What kind of web sites do you

          I do subliminal advertising.

Goth Girl raises a pierced eyebrow, whut?

                      TRENT (CONT'D)
          There's this government department,
          I'm not really supposed to talk
          about it...

He leans forward, lowers his voice.

                      TRENT (CONT'D)
          They tell me who they want you to
          vote for, and I arrange for it to
          happen. You're looking at kitten
          gifs, and bam, Smiling Friendly
          Politician is in your head, you
          see him every time you blink. The
          other guy they don't want to win,
          God what is he doing with that
          donkey, he disgusts me.

                      GOTH GIRL
          Do you like manipulating people to
          do your bidding?

Trent sits back, losing his sense of fun.

          The last website I designed sold
          Italian shoes. They don't use child
          labor, I checked up on them.

                      GOTH GIRL
          What's the most outrageous thing
          you've ever done in your life?

          I wore my sister's underwear when
          I was twelve. Actually I was
          sixteen. Okay I was twenty. I just
          wanted to know how it felt against
          my skin. Pretty nice, actually.

                      GOTH GIRL
          Did you ever tell her?

          God no, she would have smacked me
          up and down the hallway.

                      GOTH GIRL
          You like getting beaten up by girls?

          No. Yes. I'm not sure.

                      GOTH GIRL
          And you're looking for that special
          someone who shares your fantasies?

          I think we're all looking for that
          special someone. Look around, that's
          why everyone you see came here
          tonight. Desperation has driven us
          all to endure the pitiful shame of
          speed dating.

                      GOTH GIRL
          You ever dated someone you met on
          the internet?

          So many questions, so little time,
          when do I get to ask about you?

                        GOTH GIRL
          So tell me.

          All right, I tried it, a couple of
          times, or more, it didn't work out.

                      GOTH GIRL
          What happened, weren't they perfect
          enough for you?

          Nah, nobody's perfect. You have a
          third nipple or extra toes, I'm
          not going to judge. They just didn't
          find me funny, I guess.

                      GOTH GIRL
          Sense of humor. That's what everyone
          rates number one, above appearance,
          career, financial wealth.

          Whoa, speak for yourself. If you
          have a Maserati Gran Turismo waiting
          outside, I am totally into you.

The bell DINGS.

                      WOMAN'S VOICE (O.S.)
          Time's up. Say your goodbyes!
          Ladies, move to the next table to
          your right, please.

At the other tables, everyone says goodbye, great talking
to ya, and shake hands. Smiles and chuckles. The ladies
rise up and move to their right...

PRETTY BLONDE GIRL in a stunning dress looks down curiously
at Goth Girl, who hasn't moved.

                      GOTH GIRL
          Skip this one and take the next
          table, will you?

                      PRETTY BLONDE GIRL
          I don't think that's how it's
          supposed to work?

                      GOTH GIRL
          I like the bread sticks here.

Pretty Blonde Girl shrugs and passes by and sits at the
next table, shakes hands with the dude who's waiting there.
They glance over at Trent and Goth Girl and smile, hey it
gives them a conversation icebreaker, it's all good.

The bell DINGS again.

                      WOMAN'S VOICE (O.S.)
          Two minutes, go!

          Should I be flattered?

Goth Girl eats another bread stick.

                      GOTH GIRL
          You really don't remember me, do

          Remember you from...?

                      GOTH GIRL
          I was a year behind you at school.

Trent pretend-buries his head in his hands.

          Oh God. What did I do?

                      GOTH GIRL
          Nothing too heinous.

          Sorry, you're not dinging any bells.
          No pun intended.

                      GOTH GIRL
          I was shorter and my boobs were
          smaller. You didn't notice me.

          For what it's worth, I'm apologize.
          I was a very studious boy. I always
          had my nose in books.

                      GOTH GIRL
          You studied Abby Waters for years.
          Lusted after her, in point of fact.

          Man. There's a blast from the past.

                      GOTH GIRL
          Did you ever get it on with her?

          As if. Abby went out with older
          guys. I tried to ask her out once.
          I remember standing in front of
          her, in the hallway, trying to get
          the words out. They just wouldn't
          come. Stage fright. I think I peed

                      GOTH GIRL
          What did she say?

          Get out my f***ing way.

They both laugh.

                      GOTH GIRL
          That sounds like Abby.

          You knew her?

                      GOTH GIRL
          I still do, she's my big sister.

          You have got to be kidding me.

Trent has to think hard.

                      TRENT (CONT'D)
          Melanie Waters?

                      GOTH GIRL
          One and the same.

Goth Girl offers her hand, Trent shakes it.

          It's nice to see you again, Melanie.
          I'm sorry for not recognizing you.

                      GOTH GIRL
          I clocked you as soon as I walked
          in. You've not really changed much.
          More worn around the edges, maybe.
          Tired looking. Bags under the eyes.

          Thank you very much.

                      GOTH GIRL
          Any time. I don't even know what
          made me come here. It was a stupid
          idea. I suppose I just wanted to
          see how guys would react.

          I would think they'd react, like,
          wow, thank you God for this... I
          mean, you look... you look really--

Trent buries his head in his hands again, for reals.

                      TRENT (CONT'D)
          Oh God, shut up.

Goth Girl nibbles on a bread stick, amused, as Trent
struggles with his embarrassment.

                      TRENT (CONT'D)
          I'm sorry, I am a total a$$.

                      GOTH GIRL
          It's okay. A lot of guys get off
          on the Goth look.

          Sure, but I've got an advantage.

Goth Girl tilts her head, hmm?

                      TRENT (CONT'D)
          I know what you look like without
          the make-up.

                      GOTH GIRL
          Maybe you're thinking about Abby.

          I'm pretty sure I'm not.

                      GOTH GIRL
          Are you trying to tell me you
          noticed me at school? I think we
          both know that might be a little
          white lie.

          I remember you and your pals dragged
          Marty Spalding into the girls'
          toilets and pulled off his pants.
          He got suspended for a week for
          that, like it was his fault.

                      GOTH GIRL
          For the record, he touched my butt
          without my permission.

          And you superglued the staff room
          door shut, they were trapped in
          there for hours. We got grilled by
          the cops, but nobody ratted you
          out. Everyone in school thought
          you were the coolest.

                      GOTH GIRL
          So you were paying attention.

          Yeah, no, I'm not saying anything
          till my lawyer gets here.

The bell DINGS. Trent looks at his watch.

                      TRENT (CONT'D)
          Gotta be kidding--

                      WOMAN'S VOICE (O.S.)
          Time's up. Say your goodbyes!
          Ladies, move to the next table to
          your right, please.

Goth Girl gets up.

                      GOTH GIRL
          Nice seeing you again.

She moves to the table to the right.

A PRETTY REDHEAD sits down opposite Trent.

The bell DINGS again.

                      WOMAN'S VOICE (O.S.)
          Two minutes, go!

                      PRETTY REDHEAD
          Hiiii, I'm Shevaun.

Trent is a little dazed, still focused on Goth Girl, who
ignores him and talks to the dude at her new table.

          Hi, I'm Trent. How are you?

They shake hands.


Giggling couples exit together and head off into the night,
successful matches, hey it happens sometimes.

Trent exits alone. He shrugs on his jacket. Sighs.

The people and traffic clear, and he looks across the

Goth Girl leans against her gleaming black car, it's not a
Maserati but it's got style, like its owner.

                      GOTH GIRL
          What happened? I thought Shevaun
          looked your type.

          Something knocked me off my game.
          I'll do better next time.

                      GOTH GIRL
          Yep. Give you a ride home?

          It's not far, I can walk from here--

No, wait. He thinks for a moment. What is he saying?

                      TRENT (CONT'D)
          That would be great.

They climb in.


                      GOTH GIRL
          You look nervous. You're not scared?

          I just don't want to be dragged
          into the toilets and, superglued.

                      GOTH GIRL
          Don't worry about that.

She starts the engine, and smiles.

                      GOTH GIRL (CONT'D)
          You have my permission.


They drive off into the night.



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