Short screenplay from the Done Deal "K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple, Stupid)" contest,
March 2008
"L-love A-actually Part II" (warning, adult content)
FADE IN:
INT. SEEDY ONE-ROOM APARTMENT - DAY
A disgusting pig-sty unfit for humans. Flies buzz.
JUNKIE HO staggers in. She beckons to someone outside.
JUNKIE HO
Hey c'mon in, s'alright, c'mon.
A clean-cut ENGLISH JOHN follows her inside. He looks around,
fascinated. Junkie Ho sweeps the couch clear.
ENGLISH JOHN
Oh I say. What a charming place you
have. Very atmospheric.
JUNKIE HO
Whatever. Hand job's ten, blow job's
twenty, regular screw's thirty, up
the a$$ is forty.
ENGLISH JOHN
What might fifty dollars purchase?
JUNKIE HO
Fifty buys you the triple deluxe,
any three of the above. You mind if
I shoot up? It gets me in the mood.
ENGLISH JOHN
Absolutely, you just, shoot up then.
Heroin melts and smokes on a rusty spoon.
A needle pierces an arm already scabby with needle holes.
Junkie Ho gives a satisfied sigh and relaxes on the couch.
JUNKIE HO
So what's your triple gonna be?
ENGLISH JOHN
I think I'll shag you up the bum
twice. Then I'll have a blow job.
Junkie Ho scrambles for a baseball bat and swings wildly.
English John exits running. Junkie Ho slams the door.
JUNKIE HO
Fvcking pervert English motherfvcker!
FADE OUT
§