Short screenplay from the Done Deal "Geek" contest,
       Feb 2008

       "Just Testing"

               FADE IN:

               INT. WHITE ROOM - DAY

               Everything is seen through the LCD viewer of a DV camera.

               PENNY, a pretty in pink teenager, sits at a table, chewing 
               bubble gum.

                                     VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.)
                         I'm going to pick a random number 
                         and write it down.

                         Three hundred and seventy-five.

                                     VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.)
                         I hadn't written it down yet.  It's 
                         important, for the purposes of this 
                         test, that I write it down first.

               Penny looks away, miffed.

                                     VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.)
                         I'm going to think of another number.  
                         Please don't say anything.

               Penny inspects her nails, whatever.

                                     VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.)
                         I've picked a random number and 
                         written it down.

               Voice of Authority's hand holds up a card so the camera can 
               see it Penny can't.  The number is 101,789

               Penny pops her gum, she couldn't care less.

                                     VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.)

                         You told me not to say anything.

                                     VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.)
                         Can you guess the number?


                                     VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.)
                         Are you saying your talent is 

                         I don't have to guess, I know what 
                         it is.

                                     VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.)
                         I didn't mean to imply you were taking 
                         a wild guess without knowing.  It 
                         was only a figure of speech.  I 
                         apologize.  Can you tell me the number 
                         I've written on this card?

                              (big sigh)
                         One hundred and one thousand, seven 
                         hundred and eighty-nine.

                                     VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.)
                         That is correct, thank you.

               Voice of Authority holds up another card, it shows a blue 

                                     VOICE OF AUTHORITY
                         These images--

                         Blue triangle.

               Voice of Authority holds up another card, a red square.

                         Red square.

               Voice of Authority holds up another card, wavy green lines 
               inside a purple hexagon.

                         Green waves, purple thing with six 
                         sides.  We've done this like, a 
                         thousand times.  How many more tests 
                         do you need?

                                     VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.)
                         All right.  Just a couple more.

               Voice of Authority slides a sealed brown envelope across the 
               table.  Penny stares at it.

                                     VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.)
                         Can you tell me what's inside this?

                         It's a photograph.

                                     VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.)
                         Are you able to tell me what it's a 
                         photograph of?

                         A woman.  She's worked with you for 
                         two years.  You've been screwing her 
                         for the last six months.   She says 
                         she's going to leave her husband and 
                         move in with you, but she won't.  He 
                         earns four times what you do.  She 
                         fakes her orgasm.

               Penny giggles.  Voice of Authority snatches the envelope 

                                     VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.)
                         That's enough!  Can we focus, please?

                              (still giggling)

               Voice of Authority slides a white envelope across the table.

                                     VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.)
                         What about this one?

                         It's just a bunch of squiggles.

               Voice of Authority pushes a notepad and pen across the table.

                                     VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.)
                         Can you write them down for me?

                         This is SUCH a waste of time.

                                     VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.)
                         I assure you it serves a useful 
                         purpose.  Please.

                         Yeah right.

               Penny sighs, opens the notepad and writes.  She turns the 
               notepad round and shoves it back at Voice of Authority.

                         Happy now?

               Voice of Authority lifts up the notepad.  His hand trembles.  
               Penny's drawn a vertical column of Chinese ideograms.

                                     VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.)
                         You understand Chinese?  You know 
                         what this says?

                         Well... not really... it's just some 
                         crap about some guy who can read the 
                         President's mind and knows what he's 
                         thinking all the time.

               Penny pops her gum.

                         Well duh, it's what you're thinking.  
                         Oh suuuuure, like a Chinese guy can 
                         get that close to the President.  
                         Not unless he's a waiter.  Or some 
                         kind of... White House... staff 
                         person...  Oh man, like that guy we 
                         saw when we... oh jeez.

               POP!  Penny's head jerks back, crimson blood spatters the 
               wall behind her.  Penny keels backwards, falls out of sight.

               Voice of Authority lowers a silenced pistol.

                                     VOICE OF AUTHORITY
                         Suspicions about test subject proven 
                         correct.  Latent extrasensory powers 
                         were developing at an exponential 
                         rate.  Subject has been terminated.  
                         Other students who accompanied her 
                         on the school visit to the White 
                         House will also be tested, but I 
                         think we've found our girl.  Tell 
                         our mole he's okay.  Till next time.  
                         Freaking espers give me the creeps.

               The camera LCD is turned off.

               FADE OUT


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