Well done and congratulations to our hearty combatants, Derek, North, and David. A close finish and I'm proud of each of you. June 2007 Best Openings Contest
Here be the results and comments.
Title/Author 1st 2nd 3rd Voted Total Coyote Walks - David 6 6 0 3 15 Foote Fault - North 6 4 1 3 14 Fringe Justice - Derek 6 2 2 3 13 voted only - BJ 3 3 voted only - Marilyn 3 3 voted only - Josh 3 3
Index Fringe Justice - Derek
Coyote Walks - David
FOOTE FAULT - North
The local clink's database described Volent Odaris as a dangerous psychotic who had affirmed links with smugglers, slave traders, mercenary clans and a handful of proscribed death cults with an unhealthy penchant for human sacrifice. Numerous legals, judges and bureaucrats who'd poked their noses into his ugly affairs had ended up unfortunate victims of one thing or another. Small wonder the local enforcers on Third Landing had failed to bring the villain to justice—justice kept dying. Finally someone with brains realized they couldn't handle the situation alone and beamed a call for help. We never found out who; the whisper station that sent the message was obliterated a half-rotation later by a low altitude nuclear burst. Navigation records showed an unregistered vessel with no beacon powering away from the planet at that exact time and making a jump as soon as it was clear of the gravity well. Fringe Justice - Derek
§ I'd prefer a close up look at a character first in this tantalizing situation. Second (BJ)
Another western set on the fifth moon of the planet Ganoob. Kewl. I never tire of 'em. This one flows pretty well in spite of the only named character, Volent Odaris. (Let's hope he's not the POVC.) Second. --Josh
I think I know who wrote this. OK I'm intrigued with this evil character. I want to know more specifics -why he's so bad. I'd read more, but I also want to see who can take him down. 1st place: North
I breathed a sigh of relief as the cool air of the terminal building closed around me. Arizona in high summer was just harsh, and I'd only had a couple of minutes of it getting from the plane into the building. I wondered again why I had let myself be talked into flying down from Seattle. Truth was I owed Kevin Whitlock a big favour, the kind you can never repay. Coyote Walks - David
I spotted the tall, rail-thin, Magic, Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms agent and wheeled to meet him.
"Laura, good flight?"
I shrugged, flying isn't my thing.
"Long, did you really need to bring me out this far?"
"You need to see this, pictures wouldn't do it justice. Not that we can get a digital camera to take a picture of it, and what we get with a Polaroid is just weird and nothing like what you see with your eyes."§ I like a department that lumps firearms, etc, and magic together. Third (BJ)
Got a little confused on who was the MATF agent and who was Laura but persevered and now have it all sorted out. This could be a fun read. Third. --Josh
Magic,Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. I'm glad that tobacco still exists in this universe, but magic says fantasy to me, and I would have preferred to see what Kevin is so excited about. For me, fantasy needs to have a strong hook to keep my interest, such as WICKED, the story of Oz from the wicked witch's point of view. 2nd Place: North
Mine. Playing with follow-on plots for the characters of “Graveyard Shift”. This was particularly badly hit by random line breaks and capitalization in transmission, I know I have problems with my sentence structure, but I’m better than this, honest ;) DG
Daniel Foote was born with normal feet. But shortly after his twenty-sixth birthday, he awoke one morning to find that four extra adult-sized toes had grown out of the instep of his left foot. Naturally alarmed at his condition, Daniel sought the advice of his doctor, who after running a battery of tests, concluded that there was nothing wrong with Daniel or his new toes, except that they existed when they should not have. His Doctor referred him to a specialist, who referred to him to another, and so on, but none of them could find any explanation; but they all wanted to publish papers on the phenomenon. The toes didn't bother Daniel except that each time he looked at the new toes they, and his normal little toe, would wiggle at him, like someone waving their fingers at you in greeting from across a room. And sometimes the new... [end of opening] FOOTE FAULT - North
§ FOOTE FAULT - I love this whimsical start. FIRST. (BJ)
Bizarre enough to get my attention this morning. I'm not convinced I'd sign up for a novel length piece, but as a short I find it intriguing. Probably needs to get out of narrative pretty quick though. First. --Josh
Foote Fault is mine. North
Bizarre, possibly surreal, so not really my thing. But well enough written. 2nd Place. DG
All story excerpts herein are Copyright © 2007 by the Authors, who retain all rights. The excerpts are uploaded for purposes of critique only, which does not constitute publication.
